My mother's wishes on the eve of my birthday:
I have a slight, narcissistic fascination with my own birthday. Love to be wished on this day and made a little fuss of. If I do nothing, then I feel very sad. Only child. Cheerless childhood, more or less. Very little money, inspite of living in an elegant house. Parents with sad, slightly worn out expressions. Neither of them smiled very much. Ma looked sad most of the time.
I remember she got me a doll for my 6th birthday. You know one of those expensive 'foreign' ones? From New-Market. I remember liking the doll very much. For my 8th, it was a small doll. Very small. I remember her coming through the gate. I was sitting on the staircase with Thakuma. I was very close to her.
The tears well up in my eyes as I remember. Ma tried. She tried to do the honours of motherhood with very little money.
I believe Baba was also very sad when he couldn't buy me the long playing record of Sound of Music which we had gone together as a family to see. At the Globe which is shut down and in shambles today. So decrepit with a story of waste, neglect and digital revolution repercussions, written on it. The waste of civilization; the passing of the old and the inevitability of waste and destruction. Fading away, losing relevance. Change that leads to death.
It broke his heart (I believe) that he could not spend 33 rupees to buy that record.
Am too emotional, now. So, on the eve of my birthday (turning 58 tomorrow), here's to my parents for bringing me into this world.
I have a slight, narcissistic fascination with my own birthday. Love to be wished on this day and made a little fuss of. If I do nothing, then I feel very sad. Only child. Cheerless childhood, more or less. Very little money, inspite of living in an elegant house. Parents with sad, slightly worn out expressions. Neither of them smiled very much. Ma looked sad most of the time.
I remember she got me a doll for my 6th birthday. You know one of those expensive 'foreign' ones? From New-Market. I remember liking the doll very much. For my 8th, it was a small doll. Very small. I remember her coming through the gate. I was sitting on the staircase with Thakuma. I was very close to her.
The tears well up in my eyes as I remember. Ma tried. She tried to do the honours of motherhood with very little money.
I believe Baba was also very sad when he couldn't buy me the long playing record of Sound of Music which we had gone together as a family to see. At the Globe which is shut down and in shambles today. So decrepit with a story of waste, neglect and digital revolution repercussions, written on it. The waste of civilization; the passing of the old and the inevitability of waste and destruction. Fading away, losing relevance. Change that leads to death.
It broke his heart (I believe) that he could not spend 33 rupees to buy that record.
Am too emotional, now. So, on the eve of my birthday (turning 58 tomorrow), here's to my parents for bringing me into this world.
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