Sister Nivedita or Bhagini Nivedita, continued..

There are some people who are really not much affected by many things. Their lack of sensitivity protects them. But Sister Nivedita was not like that. She was gifted with an extremely sensitive nature and a very fine discrimination. Assaults to her taste or habit were painful to her. Our inherent tamas, which manifested itself in our lethargy, carelessness and callousness, our lack of cleanliness and discipline, as well as our lack of desire to improve ourselves, both in and outside the home, gave her constant pain and sadness. However this challenge to her sensitivity and sensibility every single moment of every single day, did not succeed in damping her spirits and defeating her.  She emerged victorious in this tussle.

Sati’s love for Shiva was enormous, gigantic, overwhelming and overflowing. Hence she could subject her graceful body and her consciousness to the ardors of an extremely difficult tapasya or spiritual labor.  This labor involved standing on one foot, going without food and withstanding the continuous heat of fire, for the length of the tapasya. Nivedita too, was like Sati. The kind of spiritual labor she subjected herself to, was practically unbearable. Her Sati like state involved living in a house of a particular lane, where there was no breeze in the summer. The nights were so hot that she passed many nights without sleep. However, she ignored all the pleas made by her doctor as well as her friends to abandon that house. She allowed herself the daily and constant discomfort of doing without the amenities and habits that she had enjoyed from childhood onwards, and yet passed her days happily. That she did not move away from this spiritual labor, and withstood the many stresses of daily existence, was because her commitment to India’s well being was absolute and complete, and not a momentary fad. The Shiva that exists in each human being is the Shiva that this Sati (Nivedita) worshipped. What worship (sadhana) could be more difficult than worshipping Shiva, in the inner Kailash temples of the hearts of her ‘people’?